You know when I umpire I looked like an asshole. I do not mean to look like an asshole. But there you go I am an asshole on the field that is just because if look like the nice guy I am the coaches all get outta hand real quick.
In my plate meeting I finish with;
"If there is a play on the field and you want to talk about the play, let the play finish wait for the call, ask for time, wait for time to be granted, approach the official that made the call and we can have a positive discussion. I expect sportsmanship from both sides. Any questions"
We started with some jokes about some other umpires being bad and that they maybe friends of mine and I said since I becomes an umpire I have no friends. Do not feel bad for me though this is good. I save allot of money on alcohol and food when I have people over for a party.
I told them I was alone on the field and that I would be making all the calls tonight. They said that was ok.
I said well because we all have no choice in the matter (I am an asshole).
Game is good second batter up makes a close double into a close triple causing me to run the field.
I look good I am in position at all times.
Boy tryst to steal second, good idea with on umpire, the catcher gets the ball there first and the runner slides into the tag. The glove with the ball is under the knees of the runner.
I call "show me the ball" the short stop pulls the glove out and the ball flees outta his mitt. "Safe"
The usual chirping about the balls and strikes actually the balls the strikes were quite.
At the bottom of the 4th the batter chips the ball into the ground in front of the plate.
It is now like a bunt and barely rolls up the third base side with a loose runner on third.
The ball spins on the line -ON THE LINE- a 2 and half inch ball is spinning like a top on a 2 inch line. Catcher and pitcher hover. Ball stops and they look at me. My right arm shoots out pitcher picks the ball up looks back and throws to the base but the batter is on base by 3 steps. Runner on third comes in on the throw to first and scores.
Coach calls time.
I expect a talk about the line.
He says "the ball came off the batters toe when he was in the box"
"No it did not"
"Uh YES it did" like duh big red truck tone.
"No it did not"
"Yes it did"
"No coach the call is mine not yours the ball did not touch the batter"
"Yes it did"
"I did not see contact therefore contact did not occur"
"Yes it did”
"You know what this conversation is over"
"You said we would have a positive conversation"
"And the conversation was positive until you said I was wrong"
"I never raised my voice"
"Neither have I yet"
"Now again this conversation is over and this is your warning."
"My warning there was contact and ..."
"Now coach I have stated that this conversation is over AND I have given you your warning
This is your second and last."
He walks away and mutters.
What should have occurred was "coach what the hell you want me to do? Appeal? Come on I 1 umpire doing 1 man mechanics and you want to try and bust my balls on a bullshit call like that fuck you! And tell that loud mouth fucking mom to shut the hell up. She can not see the fucking plate from there so can not tell little Donny that the pitch was a strike. Fuck off and here let me help you to the dugout with a swift kick to the ass."
I remember a time when I liked the game of baseball
The smell of wet grass, the throwing the ball with my son, the "anything can happen" feeling, the thought of how happy and proud my son is when he completes a well played game. Man the great life lessons he is learning.
I was probably the only parent that rooted for the team until the umpire called ball game.
I remember coaching and I remember the umpires and I never argued with the umpires. I knew they were not there to get me but to get the game right. Today coaches watch the sports highlights and think that the umpires are there to abuse. The kids learn that the umpires are blind, stupid, they suck and they are worthless. They could not make a call to save their lives, and the team must not only beat the other team but they must beat the umpires too.
Man these fucking parents and coaches are way the fuck outta control.
FUCK YOU!
The second game was good until a coach asked for time and then asked about my strike zone. I told him that the strike zone is not up for discussion, but are they outside?
You know what coach I will give you a free one. They are outside just as I have motioned through out the game.
But...
No coach a free one does not mean that you can ask another question.
He moves his catcher and wow strike. the kid already has a smoking fast ball and the other team is basically a rec team he could finish the game with 9 pitch innings and we could go home early but know you and that loudmouth bitchy mom gotta play like it is the world fucking series.
BLA BLA BLA BLA
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
09-18-2007
My freaking games on Tuesday.
10AA
I have the field.
My partner has the plate. He asks me to handle the plate meeting.
I state unlimited runs and the run rules are 15,10,8 3, 4, 5
0and the rest of the stuff
No questions we play a slow game of baseball
Next game...
My plate my speech
Coach red asks about balk warnings.
I say sure it is fall if you both want them then I will give 2 per pitcher.
I am also lenient in league a little shoulder no call allot of shoulder then yeah I will.
Flinch because he is nervous warning; flinch because he trying to trick I will flat-out call. This is fall we want to be instructing.
All say great let us get started.
Blue pitcher balks as red steals third. I stop I send the runner back to second and explain the balk to the pitcher.
Dad in dugout starts to chirp. This chirping continues through out the whole game did he go did not go ball strike safe blab the kids get started also now I have a problem he is teaching the kids to be disrespectful.
The red coach wants to know why I sent his runner back to second.
I explain "You wanted warnings I will send the runner back"
But he was stealing how can you send him back?
Because he was not at the base when I called time and I had to call time to give the warning and instruction.
Man you know he was pissed because it was his request for warnings.
Blue on defense Infield blooper behind the pitchers mound short comes in to catch and does. Did he trap or not??? I can not see or say my partner has the call he says yes and throws runner on first out.
Red manager wants to call time says he wants to appeal. I smile nicely san say no he can not. That was a judgment call and not an appeasable play.
He says what?
I say that was not a rules call it was judgment call. You can appeal judgment calls.
And I continue the game
At the half the red manager wants to get clarification on the appeal process. Sure.
I explain that had there been rules incrustation he can ask the umpire that made the call why he made the call, then say that you feel the rule says this and then ask him to get some help on it. then we two umpires will talk get the rule right because that is what we want to do and then my partner will make the correct changes if needed.
But that was a judge net call. You have to ask the umpire that made the call if he could ask me what I saw. He will either ask or not it is his choice. If he asks I will meet with him discuss what I saw and then he will change the call if needed. But I will not talk to him about a judgment call unless he asks for it.
Red plays a very aggressive stand on your neck baseball through the entire game. They lead the entire game they like to stomp on the players.
Close play at first partner calls blue safe. Foot off the bag. Red manager asks my partner for time. My partner says no I will not discuss it with you. Red manager looks at me I shrug, "I said if he chooses it is his chose."
Dad starts off he did not drop the ball how can you let him make that call?
I turn "sir I have had enough of you commentary. He did not say he roped the ball he said the foot was off the bag. We are not going to have anymore from you tonight.
What did I say?
That will be enough. This is now your last warning.
We get to the last inning and home (blue) is behind by 5 runs. Blue shuts red down on 1 run.
Red takes the field
Blue starts to get some hits and now is 2 from tying with one out. Red manager calls time.
Hey blue aren't we doing the 5 run limit?
No sir at the plate I stated unlimited run rule in effect 15,10,8 3, 4, 5.
You did?
Yes I did ... that’s right you chose not to be at the plate meeting that is why you did not know.
But last game we played 5 run...
Was I the umpire at that game?
No
Well then I can not speak about that game.
Was that part of the plate meeting at that game?
Yes
Well then you all agreed to that then.
Today we are playing by the rules with no league modifications as I was told at the beginning of the season.
Now I have to finish the game.
I continue.
Blue gets an out and then a run.
Red manager calls time again.
Yes sir?
Now let me get this straight.
Coach I want to go home as much as you do. It is late the boys have homework I have homework. Let us just finish the game. I explained this to you before. I was told no moods so there are no moods.
If you agreed to something the other day that is the other day
So you umpires can come onto the field with what ever rules you...
Sir we are done with this conversation.
He walks off mutter about something and he tells the stands that umpire gets to makeup the rules.
I stop the game.
Coach. I have stated that this is over. That this conversation is complete. I have heard you and I am telling you that that is enough. I do not care how close to the end of the game we are I have no problem changing your perspective of the game.
We finish the game blue wins by the 1 run needed.
I check the website and yes there is a 5 run rule.
I e-mail my UIC the story and say that I was under the impression that USSSA rules are in effect and that I was sorry.
He informs me I was right the website was old and that any AA game is unlimited. That the coach was already e-mailing that his boys were devastated.
Him and the president looked at my game card and noted that if the red manager thought the game was 5 limits he would have tried to finish the game 1 inning back and 25 minutes short.
They told him that I was right and to just learn from it.
10AA
I have the field.
My partner has the plate. He asks me to handle the plate meeting.
I state unlimited runs and the run rules are 15,10,8 3, 4, 5
0and the rest of the stuff
No questions we play a slow game of baseball
Next game...
My plate my speech
Coach red asks about balk warnings.
I say sure it is fall if you both want them then I will give 2 per pitcher.
I am also lenient in league a little shoulder no call allot of shoulder then yeah I will.
Flinch because he is nervous warning; flinch because he trying to trick I will flat-out call. This is fall we want to be instructing.
All say great let us get started.
Blue pitcher balks as red steals third. I stop I send the runner back to second and explain the balk to the pitcher.
Dad in dugout starts to chirp. This chirping continues through out the whole game did he go did not go ball strike safe blab the kids get started also now I have a problem he is teaching the kids to be disrespectful.
The red coach wants to know why I sent his runner back to second.
I explain "You wanted warnings I will send the runner back"
But he was stealing how can you send him back?
Because he was not at the base when I called time and I had to call time to give the warning and instruction.
Man you know he was pissed because it was his request for warnings.
Blue on defense Infield blooper behind the pitchers mound short comes in to catch and does. Did he trap or not??? I can not see or say my partner has the call he says yes and throws runner on first out.
Red manager wants to call time says he wants to appeal. I smile nicely san say no he can not. That was a judgment call and not an appeasable play.
He says what?
I say that was not a rules call it was judgment call. You can appeal judgment calls.
And I continue the game
At the half the red manager wants to get clarification on the appeal process. Sure.
I explain that had there been rules incrustation he can ask the umpire that made the call why he made the call, then say that you feel the rule says this and then ask him to get some help on it. then we two umpires will talk get the rule right because that is what we want to do and then my partner will make the correct changes if needed.
But that was a judge net call. You have to ask the umpire that made the call if he could ask me what I saw. He will either ask or not it is his choice. If he asks I will meet with him discuss what I saw and then he will change the call if needed. But I will not talk to him about a judgment call unless he asks for it.
Red plays a very aggressive stand on your neck baseball through the entire game. They lead the entire game they like to stomp on the players.
Close play at first partner calls blue safe. Foot off the bag. Red manager asks my partner for time. My partner says no I will not discuss it with you. Red manager looks at me I shrug, "I said if he chooses it is his chose."
Dad starts off he did not drop the ball how can you let him make that call?
I turn "sir I have had enough of you commentary. He did not say he roped the ball he said the foot was off the bag. We are not going to have anymore from you tonight.
What did I say?
That will be enough. This is now your last warning.
We get to the last inning and home (blue) is behind by 5 runs. Blue shuts red down on 1 run.
Red takes the field
Blue starts to get some hits and now is 2 from tying with one out. Red manager calls time.
Hey blue aren't we doing the 5 run limit?
No sir at the plate I stated unlimited run rule in effect 15,10,8 3, 4, 5.
You did?
Yes I did ... that’s right you chose not to be at the plate meeting that is why you did not know.
But last game we played 5 run...
Was I the umpire at that game?
No
Well then I can not speak about that game.
Was that part of the plate meeting at that game?
Yes
Well then you all agreed to that then.
Today we are playing by the rules with no league modifications as I was told at the beginning of the season.
Now I have to finish the game.
I continue.
Blue gets an out and then a run.
Red manager calls time again.
Yes sir?
Now let me get this straight.
Coach I want to go home as much as you do. It is late the boys have homework I have homework. Let us just finish the game. I explained this to you before. I was told no moods so there are no moods.
If you agreed to something the other day that is the other day
So you umpires can come onto the field with what ever rules you...
Sir we are done with this conversation.
He walks off mutter about something and he tells the stands that umpire gets to makeup the rules.
I stop the game.
Coach. I have stated that this is over. That this conversation is complete. I have heard you and I am telling you that that is enough. I do not care how close to the end of the game we are I have no problem changing your perspective of the game.
We finish the game blue wins by the 1 run needed.
I check the website and yes there is a 5 run rule.
I e-mail my UIC the story and say that I was under the impression that USSSA rules are in effect and that I was sorry.
He informs me I was right the website was old and that any AA game is unlimited. That the coach was already e-mailing that his boys were devastated.
Him and the president looked at my game card and noted that if the red manager thought the game was 5 limits he would have tried to finish the game 1 inning back and 25 minutes short.
They told him that I was right and to just learn from it.
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